13a: People who put children old enough to walk in strollers

March 31, 2009

God, I fucking hate people who put children old enough to walk in strollers.

Have you seen these people? They squeeze overweight five-year-olds into fold-up strollers from 1987. Arms spilling out over the side, feet clad in dirty velcro shoes, these children look like little human sardines. I wonder where these parents got the shoehorns big enough to stuff their offspring into little mobile pushcarts, because they’re either A) too lazy to walk with them, B) too lazy to carry them if necessary, or C) too lazy to give a shit either way.

Listen, if your kid’s three or older, let the little bastards walk. It’s called exercise. Allow them get used to it. Might not be a bad thing.

Do you just want somewhere to put your drink? Do you like being a pain in the ass on public transportation? Do you take pride in humiliating your child? Well, congratulations. You’ve succeeded. You’re an awful parent.

And your kid’s going to grow up to be a serial killer.

  • This is obviously only regarding kids of able mind and body.