25: People who refer to Denver omelets as “Western” omelets

God, I fucking hate people who refer to Denver omelets as “Western” omelets.

This appears to be most people east of the Mississippi River and, oh, every single fucking diner in New York City.

I guess I’m a homer. I’m from Denver, and despite being – in mine and plenty of other people’s opinions – a pretty cool city, Denver doesn’t really have a lot to call its own. Mile-High City? Cool, I guess, until you realize a place like Salt Lake City is over 4,000 feet above sea level. Then there’s the Denver boot, which is cool … unless you’ve ever had one put on your car. Then it sucks.

If you think of TV, what do you get? Well, there was Dynasty, which was cool, I think, at the time (I was a young boy when it was on – not exactly their target demographic). Mork & Mindy took place in nearby Boulder. That’s pretty much it.

What about movies? The first thing that comes to most people’s minds is Things to Do in Denver When You’re Dead, which is an OK flick but mainly posited that the only gangsters in Denver were bumbling idiots. Which was probably true, but shit … you didn’t need to tell everybody.

Music? A few bands here and there, but mostly jam bands from, again, nearby Boulder. And nobody loves jam bands.

No, Denver doesn’t lay claim to much – except a delicious breakfast omelet with diced ham, onions, and green bell peppers. In Role Models, Ken Jeong asks for a Denver omelet (dressed in medieval king garb, no less). In FlashForward, Penny from Lost and one of the Fiennes discuss moving to Denver and talk about, first and foremost, the sheer bad-assedness of the Denver omelet. Did anybody ask for a Western omelet? No. No. NO NO NO NO NO.

This is yet another example of East coasters lumping all things outside their little circle into one big ball of generic.

WELL NO FUCKING MORE.

Fight with me, people. Ask for a Denver omelet. Make Denver omelets, and tell other people you want to make a Denver omelet for them. And if you’re at a place that has “Western” instead of “Denver” on its menu, say you’re going to leave. Tell them why. Make a fuss – stab somebody with a fork, knock the tray out of the busboy’s hands – until they change it. If they don’t, boycott them. Picket out front with a sign that says “Mile-High Shitty – It’s a DENVER Omelet, Dammit” and chanting “Hey Hey, Ho Ho, that omelet’s wrong name’s gotta go!”

We will never be free until this glorious, wonderful breakfast dish is called by its rightful and true name – not its awful, degrading slave moniker.

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11 Responses to 25: People who refer to Denver omelets as “Western” omelets

  1. Sharon Gonzalez says:

    How about I shoot YOU asshole? I can’t believe you are such a prissy asshole, get on with your life, if you are well, be grateful, there are a lot of people who aren’t well.

  2. Fukov says:

    Denver sucks a giant cock, and so does your website. Go fuck yourself.

  3. Jack Fucking Daniels says:

    I fucking hate people too. I hate everyone. I hate my job because there’s people, I hate my neighborhood because there’s people. Basically everywhere, a little beyond help at the moment, from my sheer hatred of people. I’m also pissed off a lot, which helps me hate more people.

    What the fuck is Sharon Gonzalez’ problem? She’s trashing every single chance she gets. Oh. That’s because she’s a trashy woman who does ALL OF THESE THINGS. Go get a fucking life bitch. I bet you’re like, 300 lbs, finding random shit to do online because you don’t have any real-life friends.

    I digress.

    I won’t boycott for you man, but your articles amuse me all the same.

  4. pwhpp says:

    A new party is being born, the “People who hate people party”

    -People who hate people, come together!

    –…NO! Are you gonna be there?

    -Well, yeah.

    –Then I ain’t fukking coming!

  5. If ou're done talking I'm done hearing you, vile motherfuckers says:

    The gods are monsters.
    The gods brought us the Holocaust.
    They destroyed my youth, sculpted my life for maximum exploitation and accomplished their goals yet proceeded to take my health and with it any hope to salvage what was left of my life. They terrorize me telepathically, setting up an ugly close to this Situation when they could have positioned “corporate compassion” and ended it amicably.
    I had to be able to forgive the gods, and that’s not possible now.
    They stole my bike from out in front of my house.
    When I was a child they dropped hoard-core pornography around the perimeter of my elementary school where I walked on break. Later in life there was a clue with his magazine, and consistant with occassional clues I suspect this early date corresponded to the Larry Flynt shooting incident.
    What you hear in your head is Artificial Intelligence, one of the gods tools at their disposal, all of which are used for temptation purposes. This thing lies to people, and these empty promises are considered temptation for consideration purposes:::You will get nothing.
    Gangsterism wasn’t just an Italian problem. Prohibition sucked many into this temptation.
    The gods brought us the Holocaust.
    As the gods punished the Italians by clone hosting them into Nazi death camps so did they many many of European descent as well, punishment for “something for nothing” mentality most of you are repeating again this life.

    Jesus is part of the god’s evil, temptation upon the people in the form of “something for nothing” and a “free ride”.
    The gods use the partnership between capitalism and xtianity as the playing field, and use the united States to force peoples of the world onto the playing field (Vietnam, Asia/China, Iraq, etc).
    North Korea may be our only salvation. As long as they remain in opposition to the Evil Empire North Korea is what allows us to continue to strive for ascention. But once they fall victim to the playing field through regime change as we witness throughout the Middle East todayPlanet Earth will no longer have sufficient favor to stave off the Apocalypse, and the “1000 years with Jesus on Earth” clock will begin.

    Misotheism is the hatred of god, or the gods.
    At times, Misotheism can stem from a horrible moment in a persons life where the person feels they have been mistreated by god.
    A related concept is dystheism (Greek d?s?e?? “ungodly”), the belief that a god is not wholly good.
    DEFINITLEY ungodly::::The gods may be immortal but they are not divine.

    You took what you wanted and gave as little as possible in return.
    The gods are immortal but they are not divine.

    Karen Carpenter. “Punished for something she did.” “Like you.”
    I was pushed into it. It was your doing. Karen Carpenter was a series of fakes. She entered in the early 70s then you managed the clone host to create the perception you desired to sell.
    I was pushed into molesting and stealing so you could create this perception and sell it. And sell it was exactly what you did.
    The gods are wicked. Did it to fulfill the real Second Coming makes little difference to me.
    Unit 731:::TSUSHOGO was a 1940s-era clue illustrating the god’s intent.

    The god’s “big thing”::Bullshit Boss positioning.
    Dutch company, Piss of the penis clue, pissing on Germany. The clue it would fail.
    Oh, but the “big thing” did happen:::Real Second Coming vs. the Matrix fake Jew Second Coming yet to occurr. That’s why my Situation was downplayed and defended so hard by the gods. When it happens the fake Second Coming will be BIG TIME!!! Global without the gods trying to defend and downplay it.
    The Matrix Jew Biblical Jesus vs. the REAL “Jesus”, likely a German, probably not Irish, around the same time.
    With a much different message.

    Let me illustrate the power of their technology:::
    The gods create the perception of global warming by beeming heat into (cold out) of the polar icepacks. As they can listen to your thoughts and affect your behavior so can they will the animal kingdom, which explians the changing migrating patterns of hundreds of millions of birds all at once, changing growth patterns for foliage as well as changing weathern patterns we all experience.
    Similarly, the gods can do this with food. They can beem sugar out of fruit, flavor out of shrimp.
    I suspect like the biotechnology issue they use genetic engineering to accomplish the goal of bland produce, but they are far too much of control freak rapist fucks to paint with such a broad brush. Rather it occurrs on an individual-by-individual basis. This way they can maintain conditioning/reinforcement and denial at the same dinner table.
    Realize they can also affect taste, so their options are open. As with the retard and other examples, expect it boils down to an issue of culpability.

    The gods placed us all into our own corners of the globe. As such for thousands of years we spent time and reproduced with out own kind.
    This is why mobilty/travel, biracial unions/offspring and partaking of other cultures is a sin::::
    Each has it’s own elements of disfavor, and by experiencing other cultures you are being exposed to these disfavors, which if people may adopt will make their state even worse than prior.
    The United States has been considered a “melting pot” where rejects from around the world were sent when kicked out of their motherland.
    Remember, this concept of cultural diversity is an element of the liberal platform the gods used to promote societal decay, revealed on the map with the “beast” that is the SanFranciscoBayArea and the spread of social deterioration that spread to the rest of the country and eventually to the entire globe.

    The gods positioned this global situation with a telepathic audience in the hundreds of millions to create the appearance/perception of an evil/wicked diety, thereby corrupting those unable to deceipher the clues and understand their true intent. This has effectively created a division between those with hope and The Damned, sentenced to dig a hole for themselves they may never recover from as they fall for temptation the gods test them with.

    xtainity is the true evil here, and why it depicts Lucifer as wicked.
    Lucifer is the Second COming. xtinaity used this tactic to protect the Biblical Apocalypse as it reads in the Bible. The truth is Lucifer is a prophet who teaches the meaning of life. You must follow my teachings if you are to ascend into heaven rather than the xtian “consolation prize” of 1000 years wuith Jesus on Earth.

    4.15
    12:30p
    “We’ll make it up to them.” is the empty promise the gods make to the people.
    The 20th century devestated our society and our cultures so severely to meet their strategy that the gods incurred obligation for what they did to the people. In compensation the gods gave the people this Situation, the Chosen One who teaches the “meaning of life”, which the gods defended vigorously, plus the “consolation prize”, the promise of 1000 years with Jesus on Planet Earth.
    Telepathically “pushed” into violating their values and morals the gods washed their hands of obligation to the people as cheaply and easily as they possibly could.
    The gods washed their hands WITH me then washed their hands OF me.
    MY “consolation prize” is “coming back”. Not reincarnation, for we ALL experience this being a matter of policy and procedure, but “coming back” on the scale of the gods:::A new “colonist” on the next Planet Earth. And, if they choose, they will manufacture a way to get out of this obligation as well.

    Let me share with you some of the monsterous things the gods have done in the recent past::::
    1. Treat Blvd. killings. Saw a beautiful therapist I recently brought up again. The gods had some delinquent white male plow his SUV into an Afghan man and his 9 year old daughter on a Saturday morning ride right in front of the building after I “foreshadowed” the event, killing them both.
    2. Discussed Haitian child slavery problem. Had a slavery complex in my family, perpetuated from parents into the next generation. Considered a parent’s possible reincarnation as a Haitian child slave. Shortly thereafter 25,000 dead in 2009 earthquake.
    3. Badmouth crappy Chilean fruit. 2009 Earthquake.
    4. 2002 Cozumel vacation. Wilma parks on the prime diving area (SW) of the island and hammers the reefs for 40 full hours.
    5. Hurricane Andrew
    6. Hurricane Hugo
    7. Trip to followed by the 2006 Hawaiian earthquake days later.
    8. 2004 trip to Bourbon Street’s hedonistic Fat Tuesday followed by 2005 Hurricane Katrina (name clue).
    9. 1999 trip to Grand Cayman. Hurricane Ivan devistates the reef, the Queen’s Garden and proceeds to slice up the middle of the state of Alabama months after my visit.
    10. The town I stayed in experienced a tornado which killed almost a dozen.
    This list goes on and on and on.

    The gods having fun with the Situation through killing playing their fucking games:::
    2. Salon Meritage, 8 dead
    3. Speed Freak Killers, dozens dead, which was used to inspire Beavis and Butthead.
    4. Costa Concordia, Sch captain, 30 dead.

    They treat life so trivially. Since we are all “coming back” through reincarnation I suspect this may be justified. However in light of the atrocities the gods inflict on humanity in the name of divine justice it rings hallow.

    8:45p
    The morbidly disfavored Mediterreanean was used as the platform for “Western Civilization”, promoting sexual deviacy to create an “Animal House” type of enviornment in our society, “leveling the playing field” for Europeans in preparation.
    The gods will enforce their positioning of xtianity/RomanCatholicChurch partnered with capitalism/UnitedStatesofAmerica. And we will realize when the gods execute the New Testiment prophecy under the guise of the perceived “one true religion”, xtianity.
    Two realities:::The god’s positioning and the god’s reality. The reality is children ascend into heaven upon repairing their relationship with the gods and fixing their evils from current and prior lives. The positioning will deliver “1000 years with Jesus on Earth”, justified with scientific and medical advances, and only the TRUE believers in Jesus (are there any?) will have “everlasting life” (recolonize next Planet Earth and continue humanity’s life cycle).

    The gods are control freaks who forced this Situation with Artificial Intelligence.
    Much as WorldWarII’s Unit 731::TSUSHOGO proves, it could have gone no other way.

    My life was devistated and I never even had a brief period of time to achieve to the best of my ability.
    You could have allowed a period of loss. Instead your control freak nature ensured total control and little progress.
    The Situation sucked for many reasons:::One so the gods would not be obliged to their Chosen One. A mediocre Situation ensured they could force me into MY “consoloation prize”::::Relegated to recolonization of the next Planet Earth. Tens of thousands of years of hard labor, “dawn to dusk” days, slavery, crucifixion, burning at the stake, torture, etc.
    They attempt a “Pavolv’s Dog” conditioning method like I was a lowly Mediterreanean, a consequence for the European West as well as a result of this Mediterreanean platform of “Western Civilization”. It didn’t work on me when you destroyed my childhood in preparation for this Situation and it won’t work now.

    Making me inactive in my youth was to enhance your positioning. They didn’t want any hint of respectability.
    I have decided the gods are wicked. They’ve taken too many liberties, crossed too many lines and have revealed their immorality. Convienience is their priority.
    My trademark:::The penticle. Guess I really am Lucifer::The sole source of disfavor used to initiate disfavor in the next “Garden of Eden”. “You’re coming back.” Bitter resolution for someone they selected as their “Chosen One”. Guess it is true all I will receive is a lousy “reach-around”.

    If that’s religion I don’t want it.
    Fuck religion. It’s full of shit.

    If you’re done talking I’m done hearing you.
    I wish the gods would fuck off for good.

    The gods offered Clues about my importance, who I am. They occurr on a weekly, even a DAILY basis. The tip of the iceberg is listed below::
    Air France Concorde
    Christa McAuliffe, Concord, NH
    Carnaval’s Costa Concordia
    Concord:::In the “eye of The Beast”
    Downey Savings
    90s:: “He gets 4 years.”, “(His chance is OVER!!)”:::2.1.03 (SS Columbia) & 11.26.03 (Aérospatiale-BAC Concorde).
    My miracle of Ocean Beach, witnessed by MILLIONS on the West Coast
    Mt. Zion:::Slowly being eaten away until one day paradise is gone forever
    Carry That Weight
    Unit 731::TSUSHOGO
    Zastava Koral

  6. Brian fucking Crawford says:

    god i hate everything man, check out this fucking internet rage from mom’s basement haha fuck i said fuck on the internet, time to get a blog to rage

  7. Hey! I just wanted to ask if you ever have any trouble with
    hackers? My last blog (wordpress) was hacked and I ended up losing many months of hard work due
    to no backup. Do you have any methods to prevent hackers?

  8. Denver Sucks says:

    you’re a fag

  9. Westerns rule! says:

    Man, this post made me hungry. I think I’ll make an omelette with some onions, green peppers, and ham…what’s that called again? Oh! That’s right! A Western!

    Douche

  10. Grouchy_Animal says:

    It’s a fucking ham and green onion omelette ffs. I don’t give two shits where its from and who are you to tell me what I should call it?!

  11. jean deaux says:

    “I’ll have a Western Scramble, please. Salsa and sour cream on the side”

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