1: People who walk and check their Blackberrys and don’t look up

God, I fucking hate people who walk and check their Blackberrys and don’t look up.

You can substitute “iPhone” for Blackberry, or even the little fuckers and their Sidekicks. Whatever. Fuck all these people that can’t take .02 of a second to peek a glance at just where it is they’re fucking going.

I was walking to get a burrito with some co-workers yesterday on Burrito Wednesday (it’s so good, it almost deserves capitalization and quotes). Some salt-and-pepper-haired gentleman in his early-50s walked by my friend and I, eagerly checking the emails from his broker detailing how his stocks just dropped another 200 points. While thinking about how he might have to sell the house in the Hamptons to that German couple he and his wife met while having cocktails at Olives, this coat-draped-over-his-arm hooker-lover tried to walk straight through my torso.

Of course I had to side-step him, but I should have thrown a sharp elbow right into his temple.

Even if you can’t sneak a glance, at least use some GOD DAMN PERIPHERAL VISION, FUCKSHIT.

I’m 6’5″. Well over 200 lbs. I’m not a fucking fire hydrant or a fucking shit tzu. You can see me, you pentagenarian pissdrinker. You do not own the street, no matter how many times you scroll up or down on that little fucking screen of yours.

I can’t wait to see you fall in an open sewer or, better yet, have a chalk outline of your body drawn on the front of a bus.

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12 Responses to 1: People who walk and check their Blackberrys and don’t look up

  1. Adrian says:

    Good blog. I agree with most.

    Be happy you don’t drive in this city.

    Also, can we add: People who window shop at 8 am when fucking stores aren’t even open and everyone is in a mad dash to get to work.

    Best of luck with everything.

    -AV

  2. jim says:

    these”God i fucken hate people” have made me laugh so hard, youve mad my day cheers bro=D should do one on God i fucken hate people in general because the vast majority are up to fuck all

  3. Trish says:

    Lol or even people driving down the fuking I-40 interstate texting at 40 miles an hour in the middle fuking lane …. or the soccer mom that has her phone to her ear

  4. robert says:

    I fucking hate people who write stupid articles like the one above. Go tuck yourself loser!

  5. robert says:

    Who the fuck has a blackberry anyways? What year is this 2002? I hate all of you!

  6. You know who I hate? People who hate everything and piss and moan about it on a fucking blog!

  7. Brezenski says:

    what a fucking joke of a site .. good for a few laughs . but that’s just it . I fucking hate these kind of blogs. Fucking hypocrite . As if you never do that . What are u living in ? a fucking 7 star world hotel ? Get used to living like us mortals fucking dick !

  8. Guy says:

    You pay way too much attention to other people that have nothing to do with you.

  9. misty says:

    I am in love with this blog, I want to marry it, you are absolutely amazing

  10. you.fucking.assholes@gmail.com says:

    Duhhh… You stupid idiot. Accept the fucking bullshit that permeates reality.
    Stop wasting time on what we all already know.
    Moron.

  11. you.fucking.assholes@gmail.com says:

    You stupid fucking moron…
    Really… Jesus fucking Christ…
    How I hate to see the reality of useless fucking beings like you…
    You place your own personal values of innocence on the young and the blind.
    Good lord, I hate the fact that we have to live with fucking shit such as you.
    You stupid fucking morons bring on so much guilt upon our young,
    for doing one of the most natural, safe, and self-satisfying activities such as masturbation.
    Really… To people of any intellect, you are not just a moron…
    You are disgust…

  12. I hate people who hate car drifting. I also hate people who are so much into money they want to keep it all to themselves without sharing much of it, etc.! I hate people (landscapers, lawn people) who’s vehicles make annoying backup alarm-type noises and aren’t sensitive to people who hate it, I hate people who hate NY, I hate people who think they own the road and honk rudely at someone because they have a Hillary Clinton bumper sticker on the rear bumper cover of their car, etc. I hate people who don’t forgive, forget, trust and give unlimited chances easily! I hate the growing wage gap and gap between the poor and the rich! I hate Republicans and Trump supporters! I hate you all! Go fuck yourselves!

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